There’s been a Facebook post going around which is just too good to lose.
HOLY BIBLE: the TL;DR version (too long; didn’t read) 
GENESIS
God: All right, you two, don’t do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.
Adam & Eve: Okay
Satan: You should do the thing.
Adam & Eve: Okay
God: What happened?
Adam & Eve: We did the thing.
God: Guys…
THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT
God: You are my people, and you should not do the things.
People: We won’t do the things.
God: Good.
People: We did the things.
God: Guys…
THE GOSPELS
Jesus: I am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don’t do the things any more.
Healed people: Okay! Thank you!
Other people: We’ve never seen him do the things, but he probably does the things when no one is looking.
Jesus: I have never done the things.
Other people: We’re going to put you on trial for doing the things.
Pilate: Did you do the things?
Jesus: No.
Pilate: He didn’t do the things.
Other people: Kill him anyway.
Pilate: Okay.
Jesus: Guys…
PAUL’S LETTERS
People: We did the things.
Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love him, you have to stop doing the things.
People: Okay.
PAUL’S LETTERS PART II
People: We did the things again.
Paul: Guys…
REVELATION
John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things.
THE END
oh woe! and God still loves us? amazing, thank you Ruth, for posting this.
Love it! Thanks, Ruth – worth the cold fingers!
you are a member of the clergy and as such shouldn’t be giving humorous praise to blasphemous interpretations of canonical texts.
So how is it blasphemous, please?