Yesterday I had the local 1st year class from the local secondary school in for a romp around the church. Their teacher gives them a worksheet where they have to draw holy symbols, find the font etc, and name the saints in the windows. The eagle lectern is referred to as ‘that big burrd’. After they have finished I get the chance to tell them what goes on each Sunday in Christ Church. We all dress up for that bit.
So one little girl had begged to be the priest and we always like to encourage women in this church so she got to wear the green stole and chasuble and went around making a sort of popish blessing on everyone. It is funny what kids think we do. The wee server carried the processional cross like a bayonet and the ‘choir’ had to process lickety-splick behind him as he charged down the aisle. When we got to the sermon our priest climbed up the steps to the pulpit, nearly breaking her neck on the chasuble as she did so (don’t read this Health and Safety Officer) and stood there waving her arms about. We discussed what a sermon might be like: explaining the hard bits in the bible, telling us how to live today in the light of the gospel etc.
“So come on then,” I said, “give us a sermon.”
Long embarrassed pause.
“Come on, what do you think I might say to encourage people?”
Another pause. Then…
“Eat your greens!”
I couldn’t have put it better myself.