Only the best will do for Jesus.

Let this be a lesson to you. Only the best will do for Jesus. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Jesus does not want your old hoover which doesn’t work, your giant TV that takes 4 strong men to lift, your out-of-date tins of food (‘well the homeless should be grateful”), your budget toilet rolls, your old anything that isn’t working which is why you’ve replaced it. Jesus’ house deserves new and shiny (and quilted toilet rolls please). If Jesus was coming to your house would you put out an old bit of carpet as a mat? No, you wouldn’t.

So if your flower person trips over an old bit of carpet in the church and then decides to sue you for depression and pain, and rest assured that if it is happening in Kilmaveonaig it could be you next, you’ve only yourself to blame. Only the best for Jesus. Let’s hear it!


16 thoughts on “Only the best will do for Jesus.

  1. I agree but have found to my utmost frustration, that any change to anything, no matter how small or insignificant it seems, can never just happen in the church. At least, not in my church. It appears that a committee is needed to change a light bulb.
    Likewise with kneelers, hassocks, you name it. Decision by committee – and at great length – appears to be the norm.
    Sadly it seems Jesus will have to wait for the best, or even the slightly better!

  2. Nigel, in answer to your questions.
    Don’t know.
    This year.

    Perhaps you should be asking them that question.

  3. Ray, we need to bring back the days of ‘Father?Mother knows best’ and strong leadership then they could just let us get on with it. Anyway, I’m sure I do know best!!

    At Pentecost my old church used to bring in ‘birthday presents’ for the church. Things like toilet paper, dusters, brasso, washing up liquid, soap – all the consumables a church uses. But they all brought the cheapest they could find! And mostly false economy too. Jesus likes soft toilet paper, I’m convinced of it…

  4. I wonder. Does the Christian mandate to welcome all really have to extend to those antisocial litigious s*ds whose despicable attitude to personal responsibility is to invoke the courts over an injury caused by not looking where they’re going?

    We don’t know what the “secret deal” was, but even if she doesn’t profit at all from it there’s still the issue of legal costs, and the attitude that was out to get what it could from the hand that feeds it every Sunday. “This money could have been taken and given to the poor”.

  5. While agreeing that Jesus does deserve the best, I’m not sure about toilet paper. How often do people actually go to the toilet at church? Not often in my experience. Unless you live in the Rectory next door??
    Also agreeing with Tim, its possible to fall over your own feet and if this carries on we’ll be getting disclaimers signed as they roll up for services. One (maybe the only) decent Tory pledge has been to change no win/no fee arrangements.

  6. Alleluia!! Preach it, Mother!!

    The out of date tins thing used to drive me demented when I was responsible for sorting ones handed in for giving out on a soup run or to those who needed a bit of help. I reckon only half to a third of what we were given were usable.

  7. I agree about the hoover that doesn’t work, because of those who have to try to use it, ditto the over-heavy TV and the out-of-date tins and unfixed carpet (old or new) However, I really do doubt that that the Jesus I see in the Bible would give a fig about the toilet rolls, other than to want them to be made from recycled paper. I know I don’t and have never bought a quilted toilet roll in my life 🙂

  8. @Nigel, “Health and safety officer”? — isn’t that what guardian angels are for? 😉

    @Ruth, I remember the first thing that struck me when I moved from full-time parish ministry to work for the University of St Andrews (other than the considerable pay rise!) was that all the furniture in my office matched!

    No longer was it made up of a hotch-potch, jumble sale of cast offs. No longer did I need to learn just-the-right-way to open the filing cabinet. No longer did people fight over ‘the good seat’ when they came to visit.

    That sort of thing should never be the norm in churches. I quite agree with you: only the best for Jesus. Although, I do believe he quite likes Ikea furniture too, which is well-built and at a good price.

  9. Agatha, I happen to use the toilet at church a lot, as do other people with bowel disorders and I expect to use the same or better quality than I have at home. Why shouldn’t I? Why should I put up with stuff that’s half the size and one-ply? Jesus deserves the best, I say!

    Moyra, when I worked with The Rock Trust people used to hand in old tins for young homeless people. Someone regularly brought in rusty old tins from her boat at the end of the sailing season which frankly I wouldn’t have given to the dog.

    Perpetua, Aha! I see you’ve never suffered from IBS either. Believe me, soft and quilted is a ncessity. I dare say he would prefer fair trade or recycled but what does he deserve? The very best! 😉

    Fr G, I think Jesus does indeed like Ikea furniture especially if it all matches!

  10. I’m trying not to concentrate on your bowels, Ruth. However I do have to agree with you.

    The thing is, and the thing I think your post was about, its about whether we give to God our dearest and our best rather than benig about what God wants. God gives to us. God does not demand from us. God’s generosity is supposed to be our guideline for the way we give.

    I’ve seen the cheapo veg tins being brought in at a Harvest Festival and I’ve lived with a whole litany of broken vacuum cleaners which people have brought in to lay as an offering at His shine just at the moment that they decided that they were not good enough for use at home.

    To return, if we must, to the bowels of our Lord, its not about what he wants. Its about what we want to give him. He deserves nothing less than fully quilted. (Recycled, if possible).

  11. That indeed was my point. Thank you for putting it so elequently, without reference to your own bowels which I am wont to do.

  12. Maybe all the people with bowel disorders congregate together. I wasn’t advocating the use of Izal but normal stuff that puppies run away with is better than I use at home. Could it not just be purchased from church funds and then you can buy what you like?
    And God save us from Ikea.

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