Me to Virgin call centre (perhaps in Newcastle): I want to swap 2 rooms round in my house. One of them has your cable coming in for the TV and the other room has your cable coming in for my computer. Can you tell me if they are one and the same, please? That is, can I just swap the things they plug into around?
Virgin (perhaps Newcastle): Oh I don’t know. I think they are the same but not sure. Hang on and I’ll put you through to Technical Support.
Virgin Technical Support (perhaps in Delhi): Hello, can I help you?
Me: Yes, (repeat request)
VTS Delhi or thereabouts: Oh no, you can’t just swap them around. They are not the same at all.
Me: But the last person thought they were.
VTS Delhi or somewhere in India: No, they are definitely not the same. Wait and I will put you through to someone else.
Someone else in Bombay: Hello, can I help?
Me: Repeat request.
Someone else: Yes they can be swapped around but you need an engineer to come and do it. That will cost £99.
Me: Is it not just a case of unplugging one and plugging it in the other?
Someone else: No, you need an engineer and it will cost £99.
Me: Thank you, but I don’t think I’ll bother.
One hour later…
Me to Son #1: I can’t believe that Virgin are going to charge me £99 to unplug a cable and carry a box to another room and plug it into something else.
Son #1: I’ll do it for half.
And he did. And no, I’m not paying him.
And it all works fine, as you can see. The plug in my computer right now used to be in my TV Box. It took all of a minute.
Virgin, get your act together!