The Cuckoo Mass

It is sad, but true, that we have a thief prowling our premises on Thursday mornings while we are at Mass. Our mid-week services take place in the Crypt chapel and entrance is by the side door of the church through a meeting room and along a corridor. As a few of our congregation are known to be late the door always stays open. However, a few weeks ago someone had their purse stolen from their bag which they had left in the meeting room. Silly, I know. I warned them all to bring bags with them into the Crypt. Then someone had a bank card, bus pass and bank pay-in book stolen from their coat pocket which was hanging in the corrider just a few feet away from the Crypt chapel. They are certainly light of foot – and finger.

Last week we closed the door at 9.58am and a host of latecomers had to come in by the upstairs door (with a key) and trek downstairs, looking rather sheepish. This week a bell has been fitted to the side door which rings just outside the chapel. Somehow, (can you explain Ian?!) it sounds like a cuckoo which I suppose is nicer than your average bell. Nobody was late today. I will keep you posted on how often someone in the back row has to leap up like a gazelle and gallop to the door to let the latecomers in. And how irritating will the cuckoo become?

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5 thoughts on “The Cuckoo Mass

  1. Ah now…..you need to be careful with a chime like that because it could attract a real cuckoo….which would then deposit an egg in you little nest which would, on hatching, evict all the nestlings currently settled under the wing of the current mother of the parish…..nasty things cuckoo’s…..if you’re lucky it will sound more like a collared dove and then nobody will be dislodged and peace will be deposited on the lucky ones attending every week.

  2. You don’t want something that sounds like a dove. It might attract doves, and we have just had to spend £5,000 having our church tower pigeon-proofed, and clearing out a huge assortment of doves and pigeons, and their nasty, stinking rotting poo, non-surviving nestlings etc. As symbols of peace I’m afraid they leave a lot to be desired: it’s warfare here!

  3. Ruth – Ian says that you can change the bell tune by pressing the small black button on the right. Dawn has one of these bells and she says it’s a cuckoo. Ian thought it was a ‘squawk squawk’ but to warn you that by the way the other tunes are much longer such as Waltzing Matilda etc.

  4. No we don’t want Waltzing Matilda, that’s for sure! No, I quite like the cuckoo. Or is there something religious…?! Cathedral bells or such like? An Ave Maria, perhaps?

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