Theological language for beginners

Came across this in one of my files when I was having a good clear out. No idea from whence it came.

Theological language – the revised edition.

* Trini–tini–tarianism – Belief in a miniscule but three–personed God.
* Exebegesis – Textual interpretation that results in scaring the pants off you.
* Septuasquint – Vision deficit resulting from intense study of small–print version of the Septuagint.
* Codex Sinusitis – Historically important New Testament manuscript that makes you sneeze.
* Hypocrypha – extra–canonical documents that pretend to be part of the apocrypha but aren’t.
* Apocalips – The intensely pursed expression of readers of “Left Behind” books.
* Tell–e–all–ogy – The theological justification for sleazy unauthorized biographies.
* Pentatouché – A crushing rejoinder to arguments that Moses did not write the Pentateuch.
* More–pheology Theology – The study of the slippery changes of the prosperity doctrine.
* Trylemma – The crisis of conscience experienced by agnostics who try to respond to C.S. Lewis’ “Lord, liar or lunatic” argument.
* Eh–scatology – Ho–hum exposition of the end times.
* Decalogue – A dialogue between ten people. Often unsuccessfully attempted in Episcopal and Presbyterian communities. (Not related to the Ten Commandments, unless to debunk them.)
* Christodgily – Dry, academic discussion of the various manifestations of Christ.
* Form Criticism – What liberal theologians engage in when they go on Spring Break.
* Intarnation – Ontological epithet often inserted into the sentence “What.* are you doing?”
* Par–wooz–sia – State of mental fuzziness induced by overlong fasting while reading the book of Revelation.
* Par–ooz–sia – A divine appearance bringing about the end of the world in a slow, icky way.
* Par–oops–sia – Heresy propounded by some writers who forgot where to look for the book of the Revelation.
* KerygMama – A dynamic woman preacher (see also: Franklin, Aretha).
* Kantikle of Kanticles – Seldom-sung love song based on Immanuel Kant’s “Critique of Pure Reason.”
* Synaptic Gospels – Fast paced cyber-version of the Gospels edited by Keanu Reeves and the cast of “The Matrix.” Features amazing special effects, including the Apostle Paul evangelizing faster than humanly possible.
* Dyslexic Gospels – Version that only makes sense read backwards.
* Pteredactor – A theological dinosaur known for biting large holes in the text.


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