Wedding blues

Well, I got the two weddings done and didn’t get any names mixed up which was a major concern. Told the rude wedding joke at the first one and it went down a treat. Didn’t risk it at the second one but they did get my other wedding joke and the skipping rope sermon which seemed to work.

I went to buy a skipping rope yesterday at the local toy shop for the wedding. Of course, in my day we used an old bit of washing line or rope, but now they come with bells and all sorts. The one I settled on was sparkly and when you pressed a button in the handle a very strange American voice made various encouraging noises like “Up and down” and “One and two” and “Come on”. Of course I set it off accidentally during my sermon and we had to wait until the wretched thing finished.

But back to the weddings. My big worry is always that the couple will forget to bring the Schedule of Marriage. Without it the wedding cannot take place and it has to be back at the Registrars within 3 days so usually it has to go with the mother of the bride or some other sensible person who won’t get blootered at the reception and lose it. Mind you, I have seen some dodgy mothers of the bride in my short career! Usually I get the couple to bring it to the rehearsal so that they dont have to worry on the big day. But the one I did today had not got it in time for the rehearsal so I was a little apprehensive.

I needn’t have worried – they produced it this morning in plenty time. But as I took it I had a most horrible thought… I didn’t sign the Schedule at the wedding yesterday. No recollection at all of signing it – in fact, I know I didn’t. But I couldn’t remember if the couple were going on honeymoon straight away or not. Aagghh!

Got home to a pile of messages on my phone, mobile and email. No, I hadnt signed it. Thankfully they are not away on honeymoon yet so I’ll have to go over there tonight to see to it. What a twit.

Blimey, I’ll need this retreat that I’m going on tomorrow. I’m exhausted. And if one more person calls me the Vicar of Dibley… I’ll scream!

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