Water, water everywhere

Glorious Sunday, if a little wet.  No, not the weather but the content of the service.  First of all we had Bishop Brian to bless the new Wyvern organ – and Andrew the organist as it happened. There was water everywhere! Thereafter we had some great hymns and some rather nifty footwork for the last hymn’s last verse (O praise ye the Lord!).

Then we had the baptism of baby Callum which was a glorious event for family,  friends and congregation who are so fond of D & K.  Callum was not too chuffed about hanging upside down over the water, but that may have been because there was a shark bobbing about in the water. (You had to be there.)

You know, it was just such a great service and why weren’t you there? You missed a great gig. It is always good to have the Bishop in attendance and yesterday was no different. He is so cool.

Then later on I ventured up the hill to the Robin Chapel to preach at Evensong. Forgot that it was Evensnog so missed a chance to wear choir dress and my academic hood. That’s the one with a bit of fluff on it, as one young server once pointed out. (The ‘fluff’ being fake ermine.) And one of my little flock came along to swell the ranks which was lovely and I felt very supported.

It has been a busy old weekend full to the brim of church and my To Do List is piling up with things that have been shoved aside.  So I promise to get on with them now.

Baptism in stereo

Yesterday at St Mark’s we were baptising two cousins of the Rostron clan. It was a joyous occasion with a church full and so many well behaved children too. Not a peep was heard throughout the whole thing.  As there were two babies Bishop Alan and I took one each and did the whole thing in stereo-ish. Not easy to choreograph, I have to admit. Well you don’t want them banging heads over the font, do you?

Some good baptism hymns sung and a flying exit to God is our Strength and Refuge (Dambusters tune). It was  just one of those really joyous occasions when everyone was happy and didn’t want to leave at the end.

What’s in a name?

A long, long time ago, when I worked for the Rock Trust, I came across a minister with a very funny name. No, I will not mention it here just in case he is not aware of how amusing it is. It was a quiet afternoon, if I remember correctly, and we spent the next wee while sharing amusing names. For example, I was at school with a girl called Hazel Nutt.  And so it went on… and on… and on… My, how we laughed. I wrote them down and over the years I have added to my list. Now, whenever I am feeling low there is nothing quite like getting the Funny Names List out and having a good chortle.

Imagine my delight to discover that there is now a book of these names: Potty, Fartwell & Knob by Russell Ash. And what a delight it is. Thousands and thousands of amusing names to titter over. Want to hear some?

Fanny Farty

Annus Bumphrey

Gayman Rackstraw

Charity Clap

Min Spiess

Mary Scarey

Thigh McKay

Minniehaha Smith

Nicholas If-Jesus-Had-Not-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barebon (son of Praise-God Barbon)

and a whole host of Emma Royds etc.

Bliss! Baptisms are going to be such fun from now on. What suggestions I shall have.

Baptism photographer attacked by priest

From Couriermail.com.au

THE parish priest of the South Brisbane St Mary’s Catholic Church will fight allegations of assault after an incident at Sunday mass.

Fr Kennedy is alleged to have knocked a mobile phone camera out of a man’s hand during the service.

Speaking on behalf of Fr Peter Kennedy, parishioner Karen Walsh unequivocally denied that Caboolture man Richard Stokes had been assaulted when Fr Kennedy tried to stop him taking photos of a baptism.

“The shots had children in the frame and were unauthorised,” Ms Walsh said.

Mr Stokes and several supporters marched from the church to the West End police station afterwards to file a complaint. Mr Stokes was not injured and police are regarding the incident as “minor”.

Ms Walsh said the incident had “nothing to do with previous disagreements”. She was referring to how Mr Stokes had written to the Vatican and the Brisbane Archbishop campaigning for Fr Kennedy to either follow church protocols or be removed from his post.

It is understood Mr Stokes was taking the photos because he was outraged the baptism was being conducted by a priest not wearing a vestment.

Mr Stokes was not available for comment yesterday.

I have felt like doing the same to many a photographer. However, you will always see me baptising in the proper vestments even if it means having a baby slip off my hip because of competing silks. One young child suggested I put velcro on my chasuble and velcro on the baby to prevent slippage.

What not to say at a Baptism

I learned today that you do not say to a two year-old who is reluctant to put his head over the font:

“Don’t be scared. It’s just like getting your hair washed.”

The screams and wriggles that ensued and the gasp from parents told me that hair washing is not popular in that household. Ah well, you live and learn. The deed was done in the end, but not prettily.

Candlemas and the Baptism

There was no room at the inn this morning at St Mark’s Portobello when the Cant Clan arrived for the baptism of baby Lucas. In fact some were even banished to the balcony. Great service, although I do say so myself, marred only by the fact that my sermon prop didn’t do what was expected of it.

So there I was sitting on the floor with the giant ewer between my legs and an expanding face-cloth which wouldn’t expand. It sank like a stone and I was wet to my elbows in warm water (a good way to check the temperature by the way). It took at least 5 minutes to expand from a one inch square to a 6 inch flannel. Last time I’ll be doing that trick.

Baby Lucas didn’t care one way or the other, of course. I, on the other hand, was exhausted after wrestling with it. “Oh we didn’t mind,” they said after. “It was great fun and showed you were human.”

As opposed to what? What are clergy meant to be? Animal, vegetable or mineral? Scary monster? Bogie man?

Trinity celebrations

Oh what a glorious morning! Today we had Gabriel’s baptism and a good soaking he got too. Then a few moments later he was welcomed to his first communion along with 7 others. I was so proud of them all. They all took it very seriously and received the Body and Blood of Christ most reverently. Bless them.

Early Learning disappointment

Church cleaning this morning and a good turn out of busy bees scouring, dusting and hoovering. Only one more cleaning day till Christmass.

Then I went to the Early Learning Centre for a bubble machine for tomorrow’s baptism. (If you want to know why, you have to be there!) I did have one but I think I gave it away in a moment of generosity (or to keep some child quiet, more like). The last one I got was very cheap in their store in McArthur Glen. This one was not so cheap in the Kinnaird Park branch. Then I had to buy batteries too.

Got home and decided we’d better try it out first. Always a good idea if you are preaching with props. It did say that the bubble liquid might stain which was a bit alarming. But I needn’t have worried because there was no bubble liquid in it. What a swizz! No mention of that on the box. So we had to use Fairy Liquid and it worked fine.

Poor show, Early Learning Centre.

Blind baptism

Wonderful baptism yesterday at St Mark’s. Baby Natasha looked gorgeous in a cream silk number with pink flowers. (I looked not too bad either in white with a Juliet Hemingray stole, although I do say so myself.) My favourite baptism joke got another outing and was appreciated by the congregation. Well, most of them hadn’t heard it before.

During the watery bit Natasha had become a little fractious and the only way to keep her quiet was to allow her to play with my gorgeous pink Dior specs. (Somehow the word ’specs’ just doesn’t seem to do them justice!) By the time we got to the oily bit she had removed them completely which left me as blind as a bat. The children, though, found it highly amusing.

It is always lovely to have the church full and the organ giving it laldy. And we might have another candidate soon… Oh, I do love a good baptism.

Healing and anointing

Wow! What a Sunday we had at St M’s yesterday. First we had a wonderful baptism with a church full and lots of children. Perfectly behaved baby who looked at me as if I was the strangest creature he had ever seen in his albeit short life. And probably I was. We were both wearing our slippiest outfits so there was a risk of him shooting off my hip into the font but I held on for dear life and all was well.

Then at night we had a Healing Service by candlelight with my glamorous assistant the Rev’d Sheila Cox. It was a lovely service and, for me at least, very moving. Lovely to have Sheila back at St Mark’s too.

So may all those who asked for healing for themselves, for others or for a situation in the world, find peace and wholeness and an awareness of God’s presence.